PERFECTION Post-post
I wrote something about being perfect two years ago...omg...two mucking years ago....and I just want to add to that because just two weeks ago or so, I was thinking, "Wouldn't it be nice to be perfect? Because then I wouldn't let anyone down."
My motive for wanting to be perfect is to make life unrelentingly fulfilling because I am never mucking up, like my theme song of life, sung by Neil Young . . .
Why Do I...?
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
May 26, 2015
After reading omg-I have to call to make an appointment!-...
Anyway, after reading some of the clinician's' "biographies" which consisted of three tabs:
Education
Clinical Interests
Personal Interests (i.e. "hobbies")
I thought to myself as I was scurrying back and forth from one end of the garage to the other, the pass through for getting to and fro the backyard and the front yard, I thought, "I know what I would put in my 'personal interests'-- I would put, 'Thinking about my personal interests' (i.e. I would love to say, 'gardening' but I don't have time to put everything I need to do aside for the day to spend the morning attending to all that needs to be done in the yard. I would love to say, 'staying in shape' or 'exercising' or 'being physically active in a sports-minded kind of way' or 'doing anything that the periodical Outside Magazine would heartily approve of' but I don't have time to even work my abs considering the learning curve time I would have to devote to getting the proper form, techniques, etc. ingrained. I don't have time to go for a power walk through the paths of Broadmoor Audubon conservation. I don't have time to get out my exercise gear, change into it, drive to the gym, sweat it up, come home, get out of my stinky workout wear, take a shower, figure out what to wear for the rest of the day, AND then do all that I have to do that particular day. SO, yes, my 'personal interests' would be 'contemplating the luxury of actually DOING my personal interests' and if that sounds a tad raunchy, it has been kept as such because my inner editor liked the idea of the sexual ...nuance of 'doing my personal interests' because the stars know, sex requires Time too!
I have to go back to my personal responsibilities. Because it is in my personal interests to fulfill my obligations and stay on top of deadlines and appointments and keep everything in queue, ready for pick up for any and all of my children's activities, I need to cease my writing, a personal interest of the top order, and do what needs to be done.
YMCA camp forms
Kiki's Birthday party invites and Longfellow confirmation
Find and make an appointment with a BH clinician at the Wellesley offices. Email the person and inform this person that Pedro Politzer, your "supplier" for these past 12 years or so (?) has the chutzpah to retire and thus leave me to my own devices which means I am already mucking up because I should have made an appointment 2 months ago when I had an appointment with Pedro and he informed me of his impending abandonment on June 3.
I suck.
That is something my son likes to say after he has realized he made yet another not-so-good choice/decision.
SO, I'm sure I'm on a sidewalk with an interesting design of cracks and fissures that although its cement is keeping me safely on the path (and if that is a metaphor, let me just say, for me to be on the path is a coup--points for me for just being on the sidewalk, man!) however, the cracks are wide and I'm sure I saw a few things flutter through the gaping ones ...
I know I am not the only mother who is struggling, drowning in these personal interests.
Oh, didn't I also want to read my Poets & Writers magazine and submit poems to upcoming contests? Didn't I want to type up my poems so they would be ready for sending?
Ah, yes. It's time to go.
Signing off--
Crazed Mother of only two but one child equals at least three if you take into account the other two embryos that had taken up residence in my womb after the third IUI and an upped dose of fertility medication...if you take into account that in the beginning, there were three and the very next week, there was only one, the one that entered the land of oxygen intake, carbon dioxide outtake, he must be the embodiment of the other two embryos that were not meant to be of this outer-womb galaxy. So, considering that, he must be at least three children total. He is definitely the work of three pieces -- not easy ones either. Love him though! : }
After reading omg-I have to call to make an appointment!-...
Anyway, after reading some of the clinician's' "biographies" which consisted of three tabs:
Education
Clinical Interests
Personal Interests (i.e. "hobbies")
I thought to myself as I was scurrying back and forth from one end of the garage to the other, the pass through for getting to and fro the backyard and the front yard, I thought, "I know what I would put in my 'personal interests'-- I would put, 'Thinking about my personal interests' (i.e. I would love to say, 'gardening' but I don't have time to put everything I need to do aside for the day to spend the morning attending to all that needs to be done in the yard. I would love to say, 'staying in shape' or 'exercising' or 'being physically active in a sports-minded kind of way' or 'doing anything that the periodical Outside Magazine would heartily approve of' but I don't have time to even work my abs considering the learning curve time I would have to devote to getting the proper form, techniques, etc. ingrained. I don't have time to go for a power walk through the paths of Broadmoor Audubon conservation. I don't have time to get out my exercise gear, change into it, drive to the gym, sweat it up, come home, get out of my stinky workout wear, take a shower, figure out what to wear for the rest of the day, AND then do all that I have to do that particular day. SO, yes, my 'personal interests' would be 'contemplating the luxury of actually DOING my personal interests' and if that sounds a tad raunchy, it has been kept as such because my inner editor liked the idea of the sexual ...nuance of 'doing my personal interests' because the stars know, sex requires Time too!
I have to go back to my personal responsibilities. Because it is in my personal interests to fulfill my obligations and stay on top of deadlines and appointments and keep everything in queue, ready for pick up for any and all of my children's activities, I need to cease my writing, a personal interest of the top order, and do what needs to be done.
YMCA camp forms
Kiki's Birthday party invites and Longfellow confirmation
Find and make an appointment with a BH clinician at the Wellesley offices. Email the person and inform this person that Pedro Politzer, your "supplier" for these past 12 years or so (?) has the chutzpah to retire and thus leave me to my own devices which means I am already mucking up because I should have made an appointment 2 months ago when I had an appointment with Pedro and he informed me of his impending abandonment on June 3.
I suck.
That is something my son likes to say after he has realized he made yet another not-so-good choice/decision.
SO, I'm sure I'm on a sidewalk with an interesting design of cracks and fissures that although its cement is keeping me safely on the path (and if that is a metaphor, let me just say, for me to be on the path is a coup--points for me for just being on the sidewalk, man!) however, the cracks are wide and I'm sure I saw a few things flutter through the gaping ones ...
I know I am not the only mother who is struggling, drowning in these personal interests.
Oh, didn't I also want to read my Poets & Writers magazine and submit poems to upcoming contests? Didn't I want to type up my poems so they would be ready for sending?
Ah, yes. It's time to go.
Signing off--
Crazed Mother of only two but one child equals at least three if you take into account the other two embryos that had taken up residence in my womb after the third IUI and an upped dose of fertility medication...if you take into account that in the beginning, there were three and the very next week, there was only one, the one that entered the land of oxygen intake, carbon dioxide outtake, he must be the embodiment of the other two embryos that were not meant to be of this outer-womb galaxy. So, considering that, he must be at least three children total. He is definitely the work of three pieces -- not easy ones either. Love him though! : }
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